“Show me your friend”, goes the saying, “and I will tell who you are”. But I’ll like to paraphrase it as “Show me your friend, and I’ll tell which direction you’re headed”, because where you are presently is a reflection of the kinds of friends you’ve been keeping. In this short article, we’ll consider five categories of friends which contribute immensely (positively/negatively) to the life of the individual. But before then, let us think through the meaning of a friend.

What is a friend?

“A single soul dwelling in two bodies”, said Aristotle. Cambridge Dictionary defines a friend as “A person whom you know well and whom you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family”. In addition, I’ll like to describe a friend as “a present you give yourself”. I’m pretty sure if some people are given the privilege to select their parents and siblings, they might have chosen a set different from where they met themselves. But the good news is that you have the right and opportunity to select your own friends. In other words, your family is made by chance, but your friends are made by choice.

However, an important part of choice in friendship worth consideration is determining what you want in a friendship. I believe the classifications below will help your honest judgement:


The first category comprise of the corrupt-minded people. They kill your passion, your visions, your ambitions, and every goal you share with them. They are hyper-pessimistic individuals who don’t only talk evil about you, but also work against your dreams. This kind of friends can’t stand seeing you rise above them. Beyond all, they rob you of your self-worth and rupture your confidence. Yes, they are confidence-busters!


This category of friends is also pessimistic (though not as pessimistic as the ‘reducers’). These ones don’t buy your dreams, so they don’t see any reason to help you in achieving it. Their main objective is to discourage your ambition with the words of their mouth and with the expression on their face. They simply reject your goals by dampening your spirit and killing your motivation.


The reflectors are the most neutral kind of friends that exist. They do nothing against your ambition and they do nothing to aid your achievement. These are the commonest kind of friends on the planet earth. You know what? They mirror-image whatever you bring. They neither add to you nor remove from you. They neither discourage nor encourage you. They are always working at equilibrium.

(to be continued)

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Adeniruju Adedapo-Treasure
A writer, wishful filmmaker and advocate who breathes and tweets via @TreasureNGA.


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